Blindness

Yesterday I had a long discussion with another blind person about the proliferation of 'do gooders' who believe they should speak on behalf of all disabled people. Her suggestion is asking these people if they have a mandate to make decisions, the academic background to be accountable and whether they are just doing this to fill in their own time and make themselves feel important. I think it is time that someone spoke up against these people who assume they have all the knowledge and acceptance among other impaired people and realise that it is just their constant voice which overrules.

I am really enjoying Winds of Change and have been turning it on in the night as the story rounds out to a conclusion. Sally has now become Anna and in effect her whole life is a charade; children without the background they assume they have, a husband who I am beginning to suspect may know, business acumen rare in the 1860's and the feeling that someone is going to recognise her soon.

Delving into The Book of Silence has been moving. Sara Maitland has been on a journey I doubt I could undertake yet I envy her. She noted that people saw her as selfish, silence is not selfish nor is it really attainable in this busy world living in a city. One of my decisions this year was to enjoy the silence but I am beginning to recognise my idea of silence is very different from that of Sara's. For me silence is no music, no radio, not going out, dogs not barking, devoting myself to writing, reading, craft or contemplation. I cannot remove the horns, sirens, shouts and laughter. Knocks at the door negate my contemplative mood and the shrill ring of the phone or a text message involves me in the world again. I believe I can attempt some level of silence on a quiet and deserted beach but attaining this is impossible in a country surrounded by water when one does not drive. I am delving into this book in short bursts attempting to assimilate her philosophy into my life and re-inventing many of the ideas which I have now lost.

Both the dogs are aware I am going away for a few days. Packing a suitcase to attend a wedding, arranging a house sitter and neighbour, mail collecting and sorting all the paraphernalia a vision impaired person requires is tiring. Hopefully the last vestiges of the bug I had last week will have dissipated by the time of the wedding. Chocolat is always particularly worried at my impending departure, little does she know it is for a very short time.