Blindness

Yesterday I had a long discussion with another blind person about the proliferation of 'do gooders' who believe they should speak on behalf of all disabled people. Her suggestion is asking these people if they have a mandate to make decisions, the academic background to be accountable and whether they are just doing this to fill in their own time and make themselves feel important. I think it is time that someone spoke up against these people who assume they have all the knowledge and acceptance among other impaired people and realise that it is just their constant voice which overrules.

I am really enjoying Winds of Change and have been turning it on in the night as the story rounds out to a conclusion. Sally has now become Anna and in effect her whole life is a charade; children without the background they assume they have, a husband who I am beginning to suspect may know, business acumen rare in the 1860's and the feeling that someone is going to recognise her soon.

Delving into The Book of Silence has been moving. Sara Maitland has been on a journey I doubt I could undertake yet I envy her. She noted that people saw her as selfish, silence is not selfish nor is it really attainable in this busy world living in a city. One of my decisions this year was to enjoy the silence but I am beginning to recognise my idea of silence is very different from that of Sara's. For me silence is no music, no radio, not going out, dogs not barking, devoting myself to writing, reading, craft or contemplation. I cannot remove the horns, sirens, shouts and laughter. Knocks at the door negate my contemplative mood and the shrill ring of the phone or a text message involves me in the world again. I believe I can attempt some level of silence on a quiet and deserted beach but attaining this is impossible in a country surrounded by water when one does not drive. I am delving into this book in short bursts attempting to assimilate her philosophy into my life and re-inventing many of the ideas which I have now lost.

Both the dogs are aware I am going away for a few days. Packing a suitcase to attend a wedding, arranging a house sitter and neighbour, mail collecting and sorting all the paraphernalia a vision impaired person requires is tiring. Hopefully the last vestiges of the bug I had last week will have dissipated by the time of the wedding. Chocolat is always particularly worried at my impending departure, little does she know it is for a very short time.   

Creative Inspiration

Ideas for writing come at all times and in some unusual places. I write any inspiration down in a book I keep for this purpose but sometimes the spark disappears while at other times I mull over ideas for months. The story about my father's writing desk has been an off/on project for months. It will be consolidated when I attend a wedding next week as the threads of the story will weave into a whole. I will be excited to see if the conclusion is as interesting as the beginning of my quest to find the story of my father's family.

Yesterday I started reading The Book of Silence by Sara Maitland. A mixture of autobiography, philosophy, feminism, spirituality and even a little geography I am fascinated by Sara's writing style and the way she weaves all these elements effortlessly into an expose on silence. One of the decisions I made this year was to enjoy the silences of my life more often, hopefully this book will give me some guidelines as to where I have failed. I don't like a lot of noise, but I do enjoy listening to beautiful music as I read or write.

My VRS batteries went flat last night. Sally is now in the Crimea searching for her dead partner, I had forgotten that women went with their men in those days. How war has changed. Yesterday I met one of the children of Corporal Doug Grant who died fighting the Taliban while a member of the NZ SAS. What tragedy and waste war brings, children fatherless, a wife alone, family angry and bereaved. War is painful for everyone.

 

Eleanor Catton

Eleanor Catton was interviewed on the 'Sunday' programme last week. What a beautiful, interesting and unaffected woman she is despite her Man Booker win for The Luminaries. While the programme did not delve in any depth into her writing processes, inspiration other than she thought of the idea when 14, it did give us an insight into who she is. Many may have been surprised that she was only viewing the originals of the Hokitika Press for the first time, the wonders of digitising and Papers Past. Sparkling eyes, wide grin and a nice partner obviously attained while studying in the US Eleanor Catton is a writer of whom we can be very proud.


My copy of this magazine arrived in my mailbox this week. I took a subscription believing I could learn from the writing styles, variability of topic and perhaps move on to other works by the writers which would inspire and challenge my own writing. I have been very disappointed as originally I took out a digital subscription and could not read the tiny print. Ordering a hard copy I have again been frustrated at the font size. I now have several mostly unread copies of an expensive subscription which have been of little use to me. The way they are bound makes it difficult to enlarge and read them on the myReader machine so another wasted effort at attempting to remain a continuing part of the reading world. 

Lying awake stressing over my inability to visit a dying friend - no visitors allowed - yet others seem to 'be allowed' I read Winds of Change   for many hours on my VRS on Thursday night. My sudden descent into the world of cheaper fiction frightens me, yet I find these stories relaxing, appealing and full of twists and turns which some of the more staid appropriately acceptable fiction does not have. Characters become real, one wonders at their ignorance, and as Sally removes to the Crimea and war how she returns to England and finds herself in Australia keeps readers interested. 

Birthday Cakes

Today I have to deliver my mother's 100th birthday cake to the firm who are going to ice it for me. I really hope they do a good job as it is my present to Mum. Sorting out all the necessary things which need to be done to celebrate a 100th birthday is quite time consuming, particularly when Mum thinks it is her birthday every day and cannot understand why we are not picking her up. I wonder if she will even remember it.

I have just started reading Winds of Change by Lee Pattinson on my VRS. It is the story of Sally, a girl of the workhouse and early employment in a large English home who sails for Australia to escort her employer's daughter to her marriage. While I have not read very far I understand that the ship goes down and with Anna dead Sally takes on her name and marries the rich man that Anna was engaged to. I think it will be an interesting read but am unsure about the narrator who seems to be making lots of reading mistakes which have not been edited out.

 
A friend has just recommended this book which I will order from the library or purchase on Kindle soon. It sounds like my sort of book and I wish I had the courage to enjoy the silence more often. I crave the quiet of the country, anywhere in the world sometimes, but am a little afraid of packing up and having a break in the silence it invokes.

I have returned the large pile of house decorating magazines to the library and am once again attempting to read at night. As the days shorten and it is still dark at 7am and night descends by about 8pm I am still holding on to the vestiges of summer. The birds fight for the seed I put out and their noisy competition brightens my day.  

Gardens

This morning my neighbour and I visited the new garden centre which has opened near here. I think we were both disappointed about the shop given its other branch has such a wonderful high class craft centre with amazing things to purchase.

I looked at several of their garden books, cooking books and similar, but was very disappointed that much of the shop seemed to be filled with junk similar to that sold in the Warehouse.

My reading seems to have come to a halt at present. I finished The Traders Sister and have requested the next two books in the series. While these books are only romances their setting in early Western Australia makes them more interesting for a New Zealand reader. I have decided I will purchase the others for my kindle if I cannot get them in talking book format.

I have not looked on the Amazon website lately as I fear I may spend money buying books I will then not read for a while. I have 3 books on the kindle I have started and then not finished as they did not live up to my expectations. Sometimes I think we need to be more discerning as readers when looking at online reviews and decide what type of person is revieweing these books. I was unaware that my reviews are appearing online under my name in Google, I think I will stop my reviews.

So on with reading VRS magazines; North and South, Readers Digest and Consumer. This will also free up some space on the SD card. I will need to choose what I read next quite carefully as I am still undecided if I will take my VRS to Australia.     

Birthdays

Jay received his birthday present from Dio yesterday, I had wine and pavlova with a neighbour on her birthday also. Today I am going to a birthday lunch for my daughter, she is now 36, and tonight I will be attending another birthday dinner. A friend also took me out for coffee and cake to celebrate my birthday which was 3 weeks ago.

Novels I would never have imagined reading, such as the Traders Wife and the Traders Sister I am learning to enjoy. Whether they provide relaxing reading is a moot point as I tend to wake and listen to them on my VRS. Perhaps the time has come to read for more than knowledge - though these books do explore life in early Western Australia as well as shipping and Singapore. 

I am not delving into any deep reading at present, magazines of people's homes are fascinating me and I trawl through the pictures trying to get ideas for updating my home. I need a real book to lose myself in, though a Kindle would do. 

Art books are giving me a new interest as I learn some of the basic techniques for using watercolours. Never in my wildest dreams did I think I would become interested in art, paints, brushes, pastels and words all together.

I two weeks time I will have to face my fears and travel to Australia. Since my last adventure which made me so ill I have been very nervous about travelling again. Although I can avoid gluten containing foods I am not sure about some of the other health issues I have. I guess this will be an experiment to see how well I cope, hopefully really great with no issues.        

Captive

Room captivated me! Several nights were spent listening to this stunning novel and I was very sad when it finished. It has brought to the surface many of my own locked in experiences such as being isolated on a farm with an angry husband and unable to escape. I have begun writing an essay linking the themes of this book with many that challenge people in life - adoption, independence, suicide, loss of love, language, child rearing and fear to name but a few.

Now I have moved on to a new talking book, which came to a sudden halt when my VRS batteries went flat in the middle of the night!

I thoroughly enjoyed The Traders Wife and think this book will be just as enjoyable. Ismay sounds like a spunky woman, one who does not get as sea sick as her brother, I hope we get to meet some of the characters from the previous book.

I have taken up 'Art Journaling' but have only been practising so far. Yesterday I read several books on watercolour painting that Jean lent me so I can learn basic techniques. Now I need to start for real and use one of the lovely books I have bought to journal in. Words and colour, very important.