The suicide of Charlotte Dawson a week ago seems to have rocked the media world despite several previous attempts and her obvious unhappiness for many years. Media and publishing are linked in ways the lay person does not really understand but the apparent ignorance of those now mourning her about suicide, social media and the impact of television exposure on a depressed person amazes me. Publicity about depression is readily available here due to the courage of John Kirwan and now others such as Keisha Castle-Hughes are 'coming out' about mental health issues. People need to stop hiding behind glass walls and acknowledge that the Charlotte Dawson's of this world exist and should be loved and cared for, not just left to cope.
Reading has taken a back seat over the last fortnight as I have struggled to cope with having two sick dogs, little sleep and the realisation I no longer have the energy to cope with such trauma. I finished Midnight in St Petersburg and continue to wonder where the author got lost. I found many of the long descriptions of hardship made the middle of the book quite boring. There was no anticipation nor any need to hurry reading the book until they made the decision to travel to the Crimea.
I have started reading this novel by Joanna Harris after enjoying Five Quarters of the Orange. Perhaps I am distracted due to tiredness but as of yet am unable to access the book. It seems odd, bottles of old wine talking to each other.
I am reading the latest Readers Digest on my VRS. I enjoyed the description of what it is like to be blasted into space and the destruction that can be brought to missions when one crew member becomes ill while in space. I hope there are many other interesting stories in this issue.
Dogs with diarrhoea are no fun at all. My working guide dog Jay developed vomiting and diarrhoea about 12 days ago. Four days later my retired dog Chocolat developed the same symptoms. This has meant little sleep for most of that time, lots of washing for them and myself and huge amounts of worry and stress. Both dogs seem to be coming right now although I have yet to put Chocky back on to her normal food. Explaining to people that these dogs live inside my skin, are more part of me than other people's dogs is difficult as people assume I have the same relationship with Jay and Chocolat they do with their pets. All I need now is a proper night's sleep and life will be a buzz again.
I finished reading A Fortunate Life by AB Facy last night. I wonder if the title would have occurred to him if he had not had such a wonderful marriage, lots of children to fill the void of his own childhood loneliness, lack of family and hardship. A book well worth reading despite its rather naive style.
I did not begin another book in the night but began the latest Readers Digest. Magazines have filled my night time reading as I sit in despair at the lack of good television programming.
I have just started reading this on my Kindle. As an adopted person/adult I find this approach fascinating. It is a series of stories by adult adoptees who always find themselves referred to as adopted children, whatever their age. In an attempt to 'dismantle the stereotype' this book is certainly tugging at my heart and all the difficulties I have had with accepting my own adoption and feeling alone and apart.
My guide dog, Jay, is quite sick. He has had vomiting and diarrhoea for several days and after two vet visits we may be getting somewhere with a diagnosis. I have towels everywhere at night to prevent him from making another mess on the carpet. Today's episode after the vets visit where he dropped little bits in the mall was very embarrassing.
As a result of checking him in the night I am not sleeping very well. I am reading talking books quite fast and started another new one last night.
This book is very interesting and seems to be one I can listen to in short bursts or follow the fortunes for an hour or so of this young man and his trials and hardship in early Australia which see him still saying he has had a charmed life. Last night I read how his mother abandoned her whole family to move to Western Australia and remarried. When the large family, now headed by his elderly grandmother, travelled to reunite with his mother who rejected them all again, only choosing a daughter who presumably could help her with her new family. His treatment at the hands of cruel employees who whipped him, he had gone to work for them when just 8, made me very angry. A true story of courage and frustration, success and hope in a difficult country and family.
I started another book which has been on my VRS for a long time, The Sultan's Seal, but I could not follow it. Perhaps a better read in actual book format. It has a sequel, The Abyssinian Proof, I may try that one later. I have over 30 books on my VRS so plenty of choice although some do not live up to their reviews and my expectations.
I have been waiting months for this book after reserving it at the local library. I was only about 5th on the list but everyone else seems to have kept the book for the full month. Given that in an hour or so of reading I have read over 100 pages of a 260 page book I think people hold onto books for the devil of it.
I am fascinated by Lisa's life in the Marlborough Sounds, moving there due to her ill health as a young child and returning after her OE to settle on the family farm and make cheese. She is one of those people I truly admire and wish I could know. While I have only reached the section where she is at university in Wellington - and the mad dash from her home back for an exam, her life is one that many New Zealanders aspire to but are too afraid to attempt.
Scanning is my latest pursuit - in frustration after putting a person I am writing about into the wrong decade I opened my scanning programme and started copying all my mother's old, and some not so old photographs. I was distressed to discover that she had torn Hamish out of a photograph by sticking something over his image and tearing it off. Strange behaviour, he did exist.
Jay and I went for a walk last night, the noise of the cicadas in the bush walk in the park was deafening, I doubt he knew what they were. I love going for a walk with him and due to my arm surgery have had to take him on a lead with my cane doing the seeing. Chocolat goes for a more sedate, senior citizen, walk around my neighbourhood. Her eyes, white with retinal dystrophy, still fix on me with a loving stare. She sits behind me as I write, protects me when I go outside and I care for my now almost blind guide dog with the love and affection due to her after a lifetime of work.
Midnight in St Petersburg is proving to be a very interesting book to read. While I find it slightly unusual in its style the descriptions of St Petersburg and the tribulations people had to endure leading up to the assassination of the Czar are expanding my knowledge of that era. I have always had a fascination with the Russian royal family and wonder if the rule of Putin would even exist if they had not removed them and opted for communism.
I had a long email conversation with Stephanie at work about book clubs yesterday. Most of these seem to rely on people reading a set book and discussing it but I have heard of one group who discuss the books they have been reading to encourage the other members to expand their reading genres. I would love to take the plunge and try something similar but am unsure if it would be successful. We often discuss books we have read during morning tea or lunch but never really get the chance to do more than offer recommendations. My list of proposed Kindle purchases is now so long I doubt I will get through them by the end of 2014.
Alice is making an appearance at this year's Hamilton Gardens Festival. A series of statues have been commissioned for the gardens and characters from this wonderful story will come alive and introduce themselves all around the gardens over the two week festival.This is a wonderful event held each year with all kinds of music, theatre, poetry, plays and other events. Unfortunately it is totally inaccessible to blind people as there is no way to get there or home again. I have complained but to no avail, hopefully things may change with the new disability advisor at the council.
Procrastination has been my constant companion for over 18 months now due to the interference of a well meaning writing teacher. My creativity was stymied in a way it has never been before. I recently finished reading The Memoir Book by Patti Miller and found a wonderful exercise which involves writing about someone in your family you know little about and their impact on you. This uses memory, memoir skills, fiction and character writing in a way I have never found before. It is fascinating and I intend using more of her writing prompts in the future.
Writing is such a fickle way to spend one's day, sometimes the inspiration arrives and I cannot wait to get everything down on paper/computer or in my notebook. Other days my mind wallows in self pity when my inspiration is dead!
Last night I started reading this book on my VRS. Unable to sleep I continued reading it fascinated by descriptions of Singapore, racism, business and life in this regulated nation in the 1860's. Books I order from the RNZFB library are often a lucky dip but this one seems easy to read and with the Australian link should be an interesting expose of trading life many years ago.
I ordered 3 books from Amazon a month ago and was becoming quite concerned when my order showed as being in NZ for over a week but had not been delivered. Thankfully my neighbour saw the courier van yesterday and signed for the books. My new hobby, Art Journaling, is the subject of these books and they will be my inspiration for many years to come.
Last night I had two visitors from China. They are boarding with a friend of mine while they settle into their studies at Wintec. Lovely tall and polite young women, they are the face of the new China. Their English is very good, one of the students told me that her English teacher at Wintec was her teacher at her High School in China last year. In an effort to keep changing the books on my coffee table I had put my Treasures of China by the Readers Digest out yesterday. This coincidence did not go unnoticed and both girls seemed thrilled to find a book about China in a New Zealand home.
Magazines have always fascinated me. For many years I subscribed to Life Magazine, quite a step up from the Jack and Jill children's magazines which came from Britain and had yellow covers I read as a child.
As the years have gone by I have read everything from the New Zealand Journal of Agriculture, Dairy Exporter, North and South and Investigate magazine. Nowadays the only subscription I have is to the Healthy Food Guide.
The print is very small in most magazines making them inaccessible for people with vision impairments. While they are taped by the RNZFB the choice of article may not suit all readers. The magazine I miss the most is the National Geographic, from this iconic publication I learnt that travel is the book to the world.
Midnight in St Petersburg is a very exciting historical novel. I read 5 chapters yesterday and found the descriptive pieces and character development exciting and very well written. Many of today's modern writers seem to feel they do not need to set the scene and one finishes a book still confused by the characters and the purpose of the novel. This book is very different, almost in the style of the old Russian writers who allowed us to feel the cold, the fear and the plot through clever words and exceptional writing. I have not checked yet to see if Vanora Bennett has written any other books but if she has I will definitely purchase them.
My writing prompts book suggested I open the door to a writer I admire and explain why I am experiencing writers block. I chose Fiona Kidman as i have a huge admiration for this New Zealand writer who seems able to move seamlessly between several genres. Her memoirs are fascinating as they are set in a similar time to my own life and her experiences reflect many I have had. She is an author I return to when I wish to understand the power of creative writing and its possibilities in the New Zealand setting.
I changed my routine this morning and took the dogs for a long early morning walk. I was very surprised not to meet other dog walkers, thank goodness, but feel so much better for the early morning exercise not in a climate controlled gym. Jay seemed to enjoy every moment and looked at me with adoration when we arrived home, Chocolat saw it as a chance not to walk in the heat!
I spent almost an hour with the IT person at school yesterday but we could not find a way to add a comments box to this blog. If anyone reading this knows how please use the comment notation at the bottom of this post to explain how I can add one. Just to add to my frustrations Zoomtext and Google do not seem to be very compatible. After dropping my screen reader page to the tool bar and then clicking on Google the screen magnifier stops working and I have no access to anything. Very annoying.
I am almost finished The Man Without a Face and wonder what the look was on this inscrutable Russian when one of the Olympic rings failed to light. Given the stories in the book I would imagine the designer is now either poisoned, shot or in prison.
My first guide dog is named Chocolat after this book/movie. It is a story which has stood the test of time and is still to be found at full price in many bookshops. The mystical nature of the characters and the link to family and chocolate is one which captures the imagination of readers of all ages. I watch the movie frequently but wonder how I will react when my Chocolat, now aged 11 and quite arthritic, is no longer with me. Perhaps it will become bittersweet. Several years ago I bought a powdered chilli chocolate in London and brought it home but felt it never tasted as good as that exquisite chocolate in the story. Again, Dame Judi Dench is the star of the movie. I no longer have a copy of the book, another one stolen by my ex-husband.
Waitangi Day is when New Zealander's celebrate the signing of our founding document between the Maori and British representatives. The source of much division now and huge unrealistic payments to Maori tribes who feel aggrieved, the Treaty of Waitangi is the subject of much dispute, academic positioning and a growing angst between the Maori and European, all of us are settlers.
I opened this book on my Kindle a couple of days ago but have read no further than the acknowledgements. I understand it begins in 1911 and follows the Russian Revolution with a background in violin making and political intrigue. I have always loved stories of Russia and was very disappointed not to visit there in 2008, perhaps one day. I used to have a beautiful book about the Romanov family which I was given for my first graduation. Unfortunately it was taken in the marriage division and I no longer have it.
This book has been on my writing desk for about 18 months, virtually untouched. Writers block caused by a well meaning friend has prevented me writing in the way and genre I wish for months. I am trying a new exercise each day in the hope of breaking down the barrier which this person unwittingly built assuming I would want to write in the way she does. It has caused me some great hilarity, particularly when I had to write using abstract nouns for names. Fun!
Blood tests are a time consuming experiment. I caught a 7.10 bus to the clinic and arrived to find 12 people already waiting at 7.20am. I sat in the waiting room for almost an hour before finally having my tests and then I had to wait ages for a bus home which was late and then stopped at every possible bus stop on the way back to Chartwell. A five minute test involved a 2 hour round trip which is frustrating to say the least.
I have two books ordered at the Hamilton City Libraries but seem to have been number 3 on the list for months. I think they buy copies which can be reserved and others which are put on the shelf and it is just luck if people find them. This system seems a little unfair and negates the point of having a reserves system. Even a book I ordered for my Kindle before it was published arrived quicker than books I order from the library 5 minutes walk away.
I have become very interested in Art Journaling. Although I have ordered 3 books from Amazon I am poring over the one I borrowed from the library. Magnification is seldom needed as the pictures are bright and clear enough for me to obtain a plethora of ideas. I have decided to do two - one about my trip to Britain and Ireland in 2012 and a diary of a year in my garden. Ideas are racing around in my busy mind as I plan and decide where to purchase the materials required. I also plan on using my camera more and need to charge it. I think good quality photographs will enhance my journals.
The Man Without a Face is fascinating. Putin seems to be a very angry man, as so many little men are, yet he seems to wield a level of manipulation I had not realised. I have been waking in the night and listening for an extra half hour to the talking book but it is one of those I do not want to miss anything out. I read online this morning that the Sochi Olympics are being nicknamed the Putin Olympics. Does he hope to believe he is in the same league as Lenin and Stalin. Years of studying Russian history have made me alert to the corruption and illegal misbehaviour which damages the ordinary citizen. Putin well may rue the day he became the President of Russia.
I love this book. I read and re-read it before I travelled to Europe last time. My method of travel is to go Without Reservations so reading Alice's book both enthralled and challenged me to continue with my more unusual travel methods. Women travelling alone are often looked at as somewhat unusual but as long as I can do this I am happy to continue. This book should be read by anyone with the free spirit and desire to explore the world on their terms.
The Man Without a Face has already gripped me with its twists and turns, Putin's unknown origins and his reputation even while young as a thug. Lies and underhand secretive missions without any feelings or respect for his own citizens seem to mark his unusual rise to power. It is one of those books a reader does not want to put down but time constraints ensure we do. I will be very interested to discover what methods he uses to keep his stranglehold on power and to understand why the military or others have not been able to remove him from the Kremlin.
Tidying up loose books on my bookshelves this morning I perused my selection of books about youth suicide. Examining the lives and background of young Australians who take their own lives Leaving Early explores many crucial questions about why so many young people choose suicide but also offers advice from professionals working in the area. Much of this book is very painful to read if, like me, you have lost both a son and a nephew to suicide. I read many books on the subject when my son died trying to understand his choice but never managed to align the content of the books with my pain. I could agree but not reconcile my anger and grief with some of the clinical descriptions I read. Those books I purchased, 17 in all, were the most useful and offered me hope and a way out of the pain.
Heat is beginning to overtake Jay who lies in the hot sun on the parched lawn probably hoping I will not ask him to work again today. Chocolat retreats to the coolest room in the house and continues to try and trip me up by hiding on the carpet. Their unconditional love and respect for me continues to amaze me as our lives are woven into a mesh of love, work and relaxation.
